Personally I have never much liked the idea of not eating. "What's the point" I think.."I mean God hears me hungry or not right?" And I've got plenty enough Episcopalian in me to surely deny that there could really be something to the mystery of a fast; something about the power of God breaking into my current reality through ernest and consistent prayer. It's just easy enough to face an uncertain future hoping for the best, and call it good at the end of each day "trusting" that things will all pan out in the end. Whatever that means. My general posture has been to say "Oh, things will work out" and then rubber stamp whatever happens as God's best, and His ideal; His will. For just a moment recently the fog has lifted enough for me to notice that I may have lost the trail, and that if left to my own devices long enough, I'll hike around in circles forever feeling just "productive" enough to keep moving and never realizing that in some areas I'm aimlessly wondering through life without the power of God's presence, and mostly because Im too lazy to ask for it.
Just today I feel as though I've been jarred awake just long enough to notice that Life's doing 70 mph and I've fallen asleep at the wheel. the challenge now is to role the windows of my heart down fast before I slip back into the dangerous slumber that caused me to hit the rumble strips in the first place. I think fasting might be a good way to start. The hungry part of me hates the thought, but then again there's a part of me thats beyond hungry...down right starving...and food can't help me there.
